This is going to be one giant big sappy pissed off rant and if that is not what you came here to read, then I suggest you leave.
I hate people. I hate their stupid little mind games and their fucking prissy ass attitudes. I hate feeling alone and disconnected, and I especially hate when I am told that I need "christ" in my heart to save my soul. Where the fuck was Jesus when I was slowly slipping into death on the comfort of my own bed? Where was Jesus when I was begging anyone to care enough to call an ambulance. And where the fuck was he when I had to pull myself into the bathroom to safe my own live. As a matter of fact, where was anyone? I was alone in the hospital and out of school for weeks, and no one called. No one asked.
How can society be so blind to the struggles society puts us teenagers through everyday? What it takes us to feel alive. No amount of coffee, alcohol, drugs, or sex is enough. We will never feel alive. We will go through everyday, every moment of life feeling as if happiness is a drug that we need to overdose on in order to feel anything.
I don't believe in people anymore, in relationships. I only have myself to rely on, because when it comes down to it all, everyone leaves. They die, they move on, they stop caring. And if you put your happiness into those people, you die along with them.
"Your cross ain't no place
I wanna hang my hope from"
-L.
I sincerely hope that you have become better than whatever you were going through. I mean, truly. I hate to see you so negative and see that you were close to death. You don't even know me, but if we were friends than I would've called you or something. Maybe you just need to find better people to be around. I'm listening Lena.
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